It's 2019. Remember?

 

Despised war criminal Alistair Campbell puts the final touches to a think piece about women's rights for "Love Actually" film director Richard Curtis' daughters' first book.

 

In Zone 3 a graphic designer uses a magic mouse (52%) on top of a copy of Toilet Paper to drag a block of mint green over to a square of calpol pink. They rub their eyes.

 

A podcaster at home in a circus-themed private development in Hackney (joint ownership) receives an email from a 26-year-old commissioning publisher at Little Brown Book. Her semi-autobiographical novel about a 26-year-old aspiring commissioning publisher who isn't sure about blow jobs has been commissioned. She swallows.

 

Richard Curtis’ daughter does not see the email from Alistair Campbell drop in her inbox as she is busy filling in a Google sheet of influencers. She is pitching for an in-store pop up at Topshop Oxford Circus to celebrate the launch of her new book on the power of feminism. Later in the year, controversy around this installation will kick-start a Twitter PR campaign that propels her to the forefront of the radical literary scene.

 

In a bright grey workspace at The Guardian HQ, an overpaid perma-lancer makes a £5 donation to Novara Media and heads downstairs for a plate (cold, grey, heavy) of butternut squash and tabbouleh salad. As they chew they check their email, deleting the unread PayPal receipt by sliding an oily thumb from right to left over the Phone's screen. A tiny smear of feta frowns up at them from the black glass.

 

A photographer wearing a Fiorucci baby T opens a PDF of underage streetcast models and screenshots the ones she finds most attractive. Each model will be paid £150 and their image(s) will be owned in perpetuity. She has already invoiced for her fee of £5k, half of which she will spend on an impromptu trip to Mexico in October. She highlights her selects and carefully places her thumb and forefinger on the copy shortcut keys as if for the first time. Pasting six teenage faces into an email with the subject line Re: 19 casting first look she ticks a hand-drawn box in her daily planner with a sharpie. The sharpie bleeds through the page onto yesterday's agenda. It is blank.

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the middle class continues to communicate in lowercase.